Roast My GitHub

This is a roast of the work, not of the person. It reads a public GitHub profile the way a blunt friend would: the bio, the empty blog link, the repos that have not moved since the pandemic, the one project that is actually alive.

It is not a security review and it does not browse private repos. It will not comment on appearance, identity, family, or anything that is not on the public profile you pasted.

Pull the brief

Set user and paste this in the browser console on github.com. Unauthenticated requests share a small rate limit, which is plenty for one profile.

const user = "octocat";
const headers = { Accept: "application/vnd.github+json" };
const [profile, repos] = await Promise.all([
  fetch(`https://api.github.com/users/${user}`, { headers }).then((r) => r.json()),
  fetch(`https://api.github.com/users/${user}/repos?per_page=100&sort=pushed`, { headers }).then((r) => r.json()),
]);
const brief = {
  profile: {
    login: profile.login,
    name: profile.name,
    bio: profile.bio,
    company: profile.company,
    blog: profile.blog,
    public_repos: profile.public_repos,
    followers: profile.followers,
    created_at: profile.created_at,
  },
  repos: (Array.isArray(repos) ? repos : [])
    .filter((repo) => !repo.fork)
    .sort((a, b) => b.stargazers_count - a.stargazers_count)
    .slice(0, 8)
    .map((repo) => ({
      name: repo.name,
      description: repo.description,
      language: repo.language,
      stars: repo.stargazers_count,
      pushed_at: repo.pushed_at ? repo.pushed_at.slice(0, 10) : "",
      archived: repo.archived,
    })),
};
copy(JSON.stringify(brief, null, 2));

If repos comes back as an error object, you are rate-limited. Wait, or paste the profile page by hand.